


How to not fall in love with Bang Chan by Yang Jeongin

by nia_so



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, actually this is stupid, and also, but - Freeform, did i just wrote 5k, jeongin gets sick, jeongin loves chan, minho and woojin are caring parents, there is slight makeout at the end, we may say, wow i am impressed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-30 00:25:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15085025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nia_so/pseuds/nia_so
Summary: p.s. : Yang Jeongin failed





	How to not fall in love with Bang Chan by Yang Jeongin

Yang Jeongin was more than glad his mother was not here right now. If she was there, she would have noticed something was happening to him. It was probably a part of the sixth sense mothers had, that they always knew when something was happening with their child.

When he was five years old and scared to go to the school because of Lee Jaewoo, who was stealing his pencils, his mother spotted it right away. She, of course, took it into her hands and next day Jeongin might have been called mama boy, but he had all of his precious pencils.

When he was fourteen years old and realized he liked boys, his mother noticed that her son was behaving differently from his happy self. She found out about it, the boy crying scared his mother will start hating him. But she just pulled him into a tight hug and said to him, he is her little baby no matter what.

Now was Jeongin seventeen years old. Seventeen years old, made his debut just almost three months ago and his mother was not here.

So nobody noticed the way he fiddled with the hem of his shirt, how his eyes anxiously scanned the room and how was his palm filled with scratches from his nails. Not even Woojin, who was more than caring towards members and always made sure they are fine. Not even Minho, who watched members from the back and spotted even the smallest change in the daily pattern of member’s behaviour.

For some weird reason, nobody noticed what they would have noticed right away. Jeongin wondered if it was because he managed to hide it this well or because of the fact his members just began to lose their interest in the youngest member of their group.

In fact, Jeongin was not even really sure what actually triggered the change in his behaviour, what was the reason why he felt so anxious. Well, he was not sure till six days ago.

He walked from the bathroom, his hair still damp as he was too lazy to blow-dry them right away, so they were falling into his eyes and drops of water were falling on his shirt, but he really did not care. All that mattered right now was the fact he finally got under the shower - eighth in the order, as he was maknae, but Chan was nice and said he has some work to do before the shower. (Bless you, Chan)

Jeongin saw Changbin who was in the millennium room, so he supposed Chan was going to be alone in the room. He wanted to tell him that the shower was free, finally. When the youngest opened the door, he saw that Chan was sitting on his chair, but his eyes were tightly closed and his head was falling on the side from time to time.

The raven-haired boy took a deep breath and then he walked to the room, his hand pressing against Chan’s shoulder. **“Channie hyung, wake up. You need to wash up before sleeping,”** he said, his voice was soft and sweet as he did not want to scare Chan. The boy slightly opened his mouth, whining and then he turned on his chair.  
Jeongin almost choked, when he saw Chan’s sleepy face, his eyes were glimmering because of the light coming from the monitor of his computer. Then the older boy moved, his hands snaking around Jeongin’s waist as he pulled him closer and rested his head against his stomach.

 **“I am too tired, Innie,”** Chan grumbled to the boy and Jeongin could have sworn his pulse either stopped or was so damn high he was going to faint, there was no in between. He wanted to say something, but he was unable to speak up. He breath shook as he tried to tell him to just quickly shower and not whine like a baby, but he could not.

Raven-haired boy looked at his sleepy older friend, he had an urge to move his head and to touch his curls, to play with his hair and let Chan sleep. But he knew, he could not. Not only that, he got scared just thinking about this.

 **“J-Just a shower, go quickly. I. Just go, hyung,”** Jeongin pushed Chan away from himself - the elder managed to almost fall from his chair, as Jeongin as his support disappeared, but he quickly grabbed the table to not fall and looked up at the younger one with a surprised expression. But Jeongin did not say that as he as fast as possible left the room.

He was standing on the balcony, trying to catch his breath. **“No. No. No,”** he whispered to himself, his fingers gripping his hair in a try to just rip them all out.

 

 

* * *

 

 

When was Jeongin just fifteen and came to the dorms for the first time, he gave himself one rule.

No falling in love with other trainees.

When he met Bang Chan, dressed in all black with a soft pink tint on his cheeks, because the boy just came from running, Jeongin changed his rule a bit.

No falling in love with other trainees, mainly with Bang Chan.

He knew that falling for Bang Chan was like the worst thing that could have happened to him. Not only, he was his leader. Not only, he was four years older. He was also.. If he thought about it, he actually had no idea what was the main conclusion. But Bang Chan was a big no-no.

That night was Jeongin unable to fall asleep when he checked the clock on Hyunjin’s night table, Jeongin deeply sighed. It was four am. He was supposed to wake up in an hour or so. But all he managed to do, was that he went on Instagram and typed down #straykids.

It was almost five am, when Jeongin fell asleep, a short video of Chan from their recent live was playing over and over again, as the young boy managed to fall asleep while looking at it. But his sleep was shorter than ever. Three minutes passed and Hyunjin’s alarm began to ring.

Whole room woke up, apart from Hyunjin, as always. Jeongin woke up too. His eyes stung, he felt his throat was in a horrible condition and he knew, that he was fucked up. Jeongin took a quick glance at his phone, Chan made the same silly expression on the boy’s phone. Jeongin felt thousands of butterflies in his stomach as he looked at the video.  
**“Yah, youngest wake-up!”** Jeongin felt like a pillow his head and he sighed. This was going to be a long day. And it truly was, six, almost seven of the longest days of his life. Apart from the moment when they waited if they will debut together.

  
Through those six days, Jeongin slept for an hour at most. He ate almost nothing, only drank water and coffee. But he trained twice as hard as before. He closed his eyes for a bit when they were practising and their dance trainer was telling them what they need to make better.

 **“Jeongin, you got better,”** the boy heard, but it sounded like it was coming from a far longer distance. He tried to nod his head, but as he opened his eyes, they closed again and everything around him spun.

He blacked out, his weak body hit the floor and his members, with staff and dance trainer run towards him.

 

 

* * *

 

 

When Jeongin woke up, his head was in a pain. Lashes lifted off his pale cheeks, his eyes trying to recognize the place. He was looking right at the ceiling. The room was dark, but a dim light was coming from somewhere. Jeongin sat up. He was supporting himself with his hands, pressing them against the bed.

His eyes fell on a window which was covered with a black curtain. Chan’s and Changbin’s room. But Chan and Changbin where nowhere to be found. Jeongin looked around, he felt thirsty. More than thirsty, his throat was burning. He just stood up from the bed, when his feet touched the cold floor he shivered.

Jeongin left the room, he saw that some boys were on the sofa and floor watching something that seemed like a soccer. He walked to the kitchen, Chan was there, probably making a soup for himself or for boys.

 **“Morning hyung,”** Jeongin said calmly, Chan not even lifting his head up, nodding. **“Morning Jeongin,”** he said, till the bowl, he was holding hit the countertop and Chan moved his head so quickly, it probably hurt. **“Jeongin?!”** he exclaimed loudly.

 **“What the hell are you doing here? Go to bed! You are sick! You need to sleep! What if something happens to you?! GO TO YOUR BED!”** Chan raised his voice, Jeongin not really understanding, but got frightened. He stepped back, when Chan shouted the last sentence, his lower lip trembled.

What was happening? Why was Chan like this... Was Jeongin sick? He felt okay. Did Chan hate him? Did he do something wrong? Did others really begin to think Jeongin is just an annoying kid?

 **“You fucking do not take care of yourself and then you expect us to take care of everything?! We are team Jeongin, you do something wrong we all go down! Do you understand?!” Chan** was boiling with anger, Jeongin felt like he was unable to speak, his throat hurt even more than before. He wanted to cry. He cared.

 **“I.. I.. I do..”** He wanted to speak up, but Chan was not done. **“You do?! Do you think your foolish behaviour was okay?! Are you stupid, Jeongin?! What the hell are you even doing in this team?!”**

This was probably the last straw because Jeongin broke down. Completely broke down. His lower lip was trembling, sobs leaving his mouth, his whole body shaking because of them. He felt hot tears, burning his cheeks as they fell on them. He felt like his head was spinning and everything around him sounded really muffled. He could not stop crying.

Tears completely stained his face, when he felt somebody hold him. He recognized Woojin’s cologne but was unable of seeing his face, as tears completely covered up his vision.

 **“Are you in your right mind Bang Chan?! He almost ended up in the hospital and you right away shout at him?!”** He heard Minho shout on Chan, but that was all, everything else was away, as he felt he was moving.

 **“It will be okay. Just a little bit. It will be okay, wait for Innie,”** Woojin whispered to his hair, pressing a kiss into them. Everything went quiet as soon as Woojin closed the door. Jeongin stopped sobbing, but tears were streaming down. His body was still shaking, but Woojin just pulled him into the bed, pulling Jeongin into a tight hug.

 **“It will be okay, Jeongin. I am sorry. Hyung is sorry. Everything will be okay. Please.,”** he whispered as the boy his head in his chest, this time when he cried, the sobs were not so loud, only quiet. Only for Woojin to hear.

Jeongin fell asleep in Woojin’s arms. When he woke up, he was sure it was already the next day and it was really late. There was a note on Woojin’s night table.

 

 _We went to practice. You have two water bottles on the floor. Minho has some crackers on the second shelf. I will come earlier from the practice to make you some food. Do not pressure yourself, rest, please._ _\- Woojin Hyung_

 

Jeongin took a deep breath. Practice. He missed practice. At night he woke up, everything was back in his mind. He remembers how he fainted during the practice and again cried to Woojin saying how sorry he is from bringing the team down. Woojin assured him it is okay and Minho pressed a kiss into his hair.

The raven-haired boy felt horrible.

When he heard the door open, he quickly closed his eyes shut.

 **“I want to talk to him,”** That was Chan’s voice, Jeongin could have recognized this voice anywhere.

 **“You won’t go near him, Bang Chan. Jeongin had a panic attack because you were stupid and shouted at him,”** this one was Woojin.

 **“I want to say sorry,”** Bang Chan’s voice was weak, like at those days when he did not sleep at all.

 **“You fucked up, Chan. One sorry won’t change this,”** this voice was Minho’s.

Jeongin heard the door open, two muffled voices still arguing behind them. Jeongin felt like the mattress sunk down a bit. He opened his eyes, Minho was sitting on the bed. A smile graced his face when he noticed Jeongin was up.

 **“Did you sleep well?”** he asked as he lied on the bed next to Jeongin, looking into his face. Jeongin nodded his head. **“Was that Chan hyung?”** he asked, moving his head a bit, Minho understanding he probably heard them. **“Yes, it was him,”** Minho said and then he pulled Jeongin closer to him, Jeongin resting his head against his chest.

Minho always smelt nice. Jeongin realized that as soon as dancer moved into the dorm with them. His shower gel had a nice soft scent and even if he did not use any cologne, he always smelled nice.

 **“It must have broken your heart, didn’t it?”** Minho began to speak, Jeongin decided to stay quiet. **“When he said those words. Not even those words but the way he looked at you. It must have hurt so much. I am sorry for this. I should have done something, but it seemed like you were doing well on your own and I did not want to interfere. I wanted you to work some things by yourself, but I guess it was a mistake, right?”** Minho said, pressing his lips against Jeongin’s hair.

 **“You know I like Chan hyung?”** Jeongin murmured, his body was too tired to actually think a lot about it. Minho noticed a lot of things. **“Yes. I noticed,”** Older said softly, the younger one nodding his head and moving closer to Minho.

Members turned out to be more protectionist towards the youngest member when their manager took him to the hospital and brought him back, saying he is alright. The first thing that happened was the fact, they talked to him all the time. Secondly, they sat next to him while he ate, to make sure he will eat everything. As for the third time, everyone made sure Jeongin was not left alone with Chan.

They thought it was going to be better if they make sure Chan was never going to be alone with Jeongin, but Changbin noticed, it was not going well. Chan slept less and less. Two weeks into the argument and Chan slept less than an hour a day. When the third week was going, he almost did not sleep at all, his head filled with Jeongin only and the fact he hurt him. Jeongin was anxious, this time Minho noticed all the scratched inside of his palms. He cried every night, in their room, while he thought older members were asleep. But they weren’t and depending in whose bed he was, that member cuddled closer to him, to calm his tears.

They knew this was not a good thing. Both leader and the youngest were slowly falling apart. Everyone knew they had to let them talk. But how?

 

* * *

 

 

One day, Minho went with Seungmin to help him with a chore and Hyunjin and Felix tagged along because they wanted to see their friend dance and help out too. Woojin had a vocal practice. Changbin and Jisung were producing a track in their small producing room. Nobody even realized, but Chan and Jeongin stayed all alone in the dorms.

Chan was stuck in his room, working on a new song, when he noticed the dorms were too quiet. He stood up from his chair, stretching as his body was in a pain and he walked out. Nobody in the kitchen, nor in the living room. He walked to Woojin’s room, opening the door, wanted to know if are at least elders at home.

When he opened the door, he noticed that Jeongin was laying on Minho’s bed. He lied on his stomach, hands under his head. Asleep.

Chan took a deep breath, before he walked to the room, quietly closing the door behind himself. He took few steps towards Jeongin and then he stretched his hand, to press his fingers against Jeongin’s cheek, but his hand froze.

Once again Jeongin broke down in tears in front of him. Once again he felt his broken heartache. He took a deep breath before he sat on the floor. This time he touched his soft cheeks. His index finger slowly grazing youngest skin in a try to wake him up. But he did not move at all, still slowly breathing out.

Chan wanted to leave, but he could not stop looking at Jeongin, his finger wandered towards youngest’s jawline and Chan traced it. Jeongin frowned a bit, but then he again looked peaceful.

 **“Yang Jeongin,”** Chan whispered to the boy when his finger moved too close to his lips. His eyes staring at his slightly plump lips. **“Jeongin,”** he whispered again, till he sighed, feeling like all energy in his body left him, he pressed his head against the bed.

 **“Channie hyung?”** soft and tired voice run to Chan’s ears as he looked up. Jeongin was looking right at him, his lips slightly opened and his eye glimmering. Chan felt like his heart was stabbed when he saw his eyes were red. **“Channie hyung, are you crying?”**

Till now Chan did not even realize his eyes began to tear up when he leaned his head against the covers. Only now he felt his cheeks being wet and warm. **“Seems like I was,”** Chan nodded his head, Jeongin moved, his hand moving to Chan’s cheek, slowly wiping his cheek.

 **“Why were you crying?”** Jeongin whispered Chan, smiled even through his tears. **“I feel sorry, I miss you,”** he almost continued, but bit his tongue and smiled at the younger one. Jeongin shifted on the bed and patted the place next to him. Chan did not wait and right away lied down next to the youngest.

 **“I am sorry, Innie. I am so sorry, for hurting you,”** he whispered to the youngest one and caressed his cheek with his fingers. **“I was so scared when you fainted. I was so scared. I failed as your leader. I failed as your friend. I failed as..”** _the one who loves you._

But Chan could not possibly let those words leave his mouth. Not now, not when he hurt the boy, he would have been too selfish to do so right now. So he just stayed quiet as the youngster played with his hair - his warm fingers had a soothing effect on Chan and he felt like he was getting drowsier.

 **“Hyung, let’s sleep. You need some rest,”** Jeongin whispered, his fingers not leaving his hair. Chan felt himself melting into the touch and humming into the agreement. He missed warmness of the youngest too much. Jeongin moved a bit, till he pressed Chan into his chest, the elder was not so shorter than he was, but Jeongin managed to grow a bit and Chan looked so small when he curled up into his embrace.

Raven-haired boy hummed a melody of a lullaby his mother sang to him when he could not sleep - Chan grabbed his sleeve, tightly grasping it, till he fell asleep and his grasp got lighter. Jeongin pressed his head into Chan’s hair and closed his eyes, falling asleep.

When other members came home, when Woojin and Minho opened their door, they saw that Jeongin and Chan were laying together in Minho’s bed. Owner of the bed whined, but as soon as Woojin asked him for cuddles he was not protesting about two boys taking his bed.

Immediately upon Jeongin woke up, he felt something tickling his nose. It took him few seconds to realize, it was his crush. The scent he would have known anywhere. He smelled like a coffee, peppermint gum and for some reason leather, but that whole combination gave off its original scent, that made Jeongin’s head spin and his lungs wanting more and more, till they became addicted.

 

* * *

 

  
  
The raven-haired boy opened at first his left eye, then he closed it, opening both of his eyes at the same time. Brown curls appeared in front of his field of vision, he moved a bit, only to press the older boy into his chest. He took a deep breath and then again closed his eyes.

He was laying in the bed with Chan. They slept next to each other. Was it going to change anything? Jeongin hoped it was. One wish, only one wish he had was circling around his mind as he wanted to enjoy this moment as long as it was possible. But then, he decided to leave the bed.

Carefully slipping away from Chan, placing the blanket over his legs, to make sure he won’t be cold, he left the room. He walked into the living room, where he saw Felix eating his yoghurt. The blonde haired boy gave him a bright smile and waved his hand, turning back on the tv, watching some cartoons probably.

Jeongin walked right into the kitchen, wanting to make some food, but he was encountered with Minho, Changbin and Hyunjin. Minho was probably making breakfast for his friends, as they were both sitting behind the table discussing something over Hyunjin’s phone.

The shortest and the tallest members looked at him with bright smiles, while Minho only blinked his eyes at him with a soft smile and focused on the cooking. **“Is Chan still asleep?”** he asked, while he was mixing some ingredients. Jeongin’s cheeks visibly reddened as he nodded his head. **“Yeah,”** he whispered, sheepishly playing with the sleeve of his shirt Chan just a few hours ago tightly gripped like he was scared the younger boy will disappear.

 **“Okay, I will make some more food,”** Minho nodded and Jeongin bounced up and down on his feet, then he ran back to the living room and plopped next to the Felix on the sofa. His friend grinned and gave him a spoon full of fruit and yoghurt. After that, both of the focused on cartoons.

 **“Innie, I hope you did not murder Chan in his sleep, it never happened before he slept this long. Is he trying to set a record?”** Minho laughed, when he walked to the living room and gave to two youngsters bowl with a breakfast, they gifted him with bright smiles and Minho ruffling their hair.

Right after Minho left, Chan entered the living room. Without any word he just laid on the sofa, placing his head on Jeongin’s legs and hiding his face in his stomach. **“I feel tired, my head hurts,”** Chan whined and cuddled more into the boy, who was trying to calm down his heart.

 **“Are you sick?”** Felix asked, pressing his hand against his forehead, but he shook his head, there was no temperature. **“Nothing,”** he mumbled, Chan sighed and moved even closer to Jeongin. **“Give me a bite,”** he asked as he turned his head, looking at the other boy. Jeongin cracked a little smile and gave him some of his food.

Chan smiled, ate his food and then he again turned his head to Jeongin’s long-sleeved shirt, he was wearing since yesterday. **“You feel warm,”** Chan purred, Jeongin not even sure if his heart stopped or if it was going to explode, or if everything around him was spinning. It was like Minho decided to drug them all and put something into their food, but Felix seemed to be okay, so Jeongin scratched that idea.

He felt warm, his cheeks were probably crimson red, but he did not really care. **“That is a magic of love,”** he heard in his ear, turning his head, Minho was standing right behind him with an amused smile. Luckily, Chan did not hear him.

 _The magic of love..._ Jeongin was in love... This was for sure. Crush phase was a long time over him and even he realized he loved Chan. He loved when he heard his voice. He loved to see his smile. He loves everything about him. From his coffee addiction to his anime figurines. Everything that made him who he was, made Jeongin’s heart flutter.

 

* * *

 

 

When they were again practising late at night, Jeongin had his mind blank. He just focused on the new dance, Minho and Hyunjin choreographed for him and now wanted to see him perform it.

Jeongin loved the fact his older friends helped him to improve. He himself he knew he was one of the worst when it came to dancing he wanted to prove himself differently. Music began to play and he was already focused only on the dancing. Stealing few glances into the mirror, but mainly focusing on the dance, trying not to get the dance wrong.

But once he heard the song it was like his body remember the moves at its own. A minute and forty seconds. The song stopped and he was there, standing in the middle of the practice room, trying to even up his breathing.

Then he heard clapping and in few minutes he was squished in a tight hug, coming from Hyunjin and Jisung. **“You were so cool!” “That was amazing!”** He laughed as two boys praised him, he saw Minho show him thumbs up and Jeongin smiled so brightly wrinkles appeared around his eyes.

Changbin who came only when the boy was already dancing smiled at him and waited till Hyunjin and jIsung let go of him. **“Chan wanted to see you, he is in the studio,”** he said to the boy, Jeongin gulped and nodded his head.

Past two weeks they were back to normal. Chan keeping his clingy persona and Jeongin again focused on practices better. His legs felt heavy when he walked towards the room and when he reached the door he was not really sure if he can stay in one room with Chan without fainting.

But he still knocked on the door and entered the room. Chan had earphones in his ears and was slightly bobbing his head, tapping something every few seconds, seemed like he was too into the music to actually notice Jeongin came.

He chuckled slightly and walked towards the elder, placing his head on his shoulder. Chan turned his head, his eyes a bit wide from the shock, mouth slightly open and his purple mood light shone on his face, making him look even more attractive.

Jeongin imagined pressing his lips against his. His hand on his chest. Chan whispering his name. Jeongin gulped, realizing he just made himself get a seizure, so he closed eyes for a bit, while Chan tried to untangle himself from his headphones.

 **“Changbin said you were looking for me,”** Jeongin said when he was sure he won’t stutter and Chan nodded his head. **“I wanted you to sing me some things for the guide. I made something new. I and Changbin rapped, I was gonna ask Woojin, but I realized your voice will suit the whole thing more,”** there were stars in Chan’s eyes. Jeongin never really realized, glimmering stars drawing Jeongin near.

 **“Hey, are you okay, buddy?”** Chan grabbed his hand and Jeongin looked at him, his cheeks were dusted with a soft pink blush, breath hitched in his throat, he just looked at his older friend, who had the hair more curlier than yesterday. Jeongin slowly nodded his head. **“I think... Yeah,”** he muttered, he was not able to talk louder, till he finally got out of his trance.

**“Channie hyung, kiss me,”**

A silence fell on the room, not even Jeongin realized he said it, but he could not look away from elder’s eyes, who looked back at him. They looked at each other, but it only took few seconds from Chan to raise up on his chair, put his hand on Jeongin’s blushing cheek and close the distance between their lips.

The boy right away melted into the touch of lips, which belonged to the latter. He moved back to the chair, pulling Jeongin with him, pulling him into his lap, while not breaking the contact of their lips.

It was too addicting, mainly when Chan tracked his lips with tongue and Jeongin, shocked by that sighed into the kiss and opened his mouth, even slightly, but Chan was already taking advantage of it.

Chan tasted like a black coffee and his peppermint gum, weird combination, but Jeongin was sure he could get addicted at any time. While Jeongin tasted like a chocolate, he drank only before the practice to get some more energy before dancing his heart out. It was a perfect harmony, making their heads spin.

They parted, both of them panting and taking deep breaths, but Chan right away chased his lips again and pressed them into another kiss. Jeongin put his legs around Chan’s waist and pulled himself even closer.

Both knew they were not supposed to do this, but who cared when they both were in love? Love was addicting and powerful, putting mist over your mind and right thinking.

When they parted this time, Chan took a deep breath and placed his head against Jeongin’s shoulder. Jeongin tried to steady his breath, as he ran his fingers through Chan’s hair.

 **“Do.. do you still want to record that guide?”** Jeongin asked, his breath hitching in his throat. Chan laughed and moved his head away from his shoulder staring into Jeongin’s eyes. **“All I want to do now is kiss you till your lips hurt.”**

Well, he was not far from the truth. But his lips were the ones hurting, actually his lower lip. When their kisses turned into messier ones, Jeongin left a nice cut on his lower lip. As soon as they reached the dorm, Chan pressing coca cola can against his burning and bleeding lip, Minho was the first one to laugh into his face, sadly not last and Chan heard about that accident even two months after it happened.

Luckily two months after it happened he did not mind.

Jeongin was in his arms and he bought really tasty lip balm, everything was perfect.

(And Chan learned how to kiss his raven-haired boy without getting cut)

**Author's Note:**

> hello! i hope you like this! till now i posted only two BinSung one-shots as they are my main ship, but like here I am with ChanGin (i have no idea how to call their ship name i know people who call them differently help)


End file.
